Celebrate the “B”

I was a pretty serious kid growing up. Even in elementary school, I took my grades very seriously. I was so focused on getting “straight-A’s” that my dad was concerned about how I would react when inevitably I received a lower grade. Unbeknownst to me, he had planned for this eventuality… when I came home with my first “B”, he took the whole family out for pie to celebrate!

I learned from this experience that it’s ok to celebrate a “less-than-perfect” result. My life in the circus reinforced this lesson again and again, in all kinds of ways. In circus life, “The show must go on” is not a slogan, it’s a fact: “Perfect” is often out of reach, so it’s important to be able to celebrate “good enough.”

The lesson here is about more than performance, it’s about compassion. When I fell short of the expectations that I had placed on myself, my dad showed me that I was no less worthy a person. His example, early in life, helped me develop compassion for myself.

As I mentioned in last month’s newsletter, I recently (and tragically) lost a dear friend. Processing the grief of that loss has significantly affected my capacity to perform in other parts of my life. As someone who places a lot of value on how I show up for others (especially my clients), this has been a real challenge. In recent days, I’ve had to be patient with myself and prioritize space for both the emotional processing and the things that energize and fuel me. I’ve had to remember to pat myself on the back for both naps and for going to the gym; for showing up for my clients and for rescheduling appointments.

Because, yes, I am mourning but I am still all the other parts of me. I am grieving, and I am a ringmaster. Living authentically means allowing room for it all to exist. And it makes me better able to be fully present, regardless of what role I am playing, and to celebrate accomplishments in all these areas.

We don’t become the best version of ourselves simply through strict and constant adherence to the highest standards. We become the best version of ourselves when we adapt to and integrate the curveballs and sometimes tragedies that disrupt our plans.

So, I thank you for the ways you have shown me compassion as I have been navigating this disruption in my life. And I invite you to meet yourself with the same degree of compassion the next time life calls you up short. Because things are hard enough without forgetting to gather friends and family to celebrate on those days when you come home with that long-needed B.

~Hanna

P.S. I’d love to hear your stories of self-compassion, big or small! And I would love to help you celebrate your less-than-perfect outcome. Let’s join together and celebrate the “B”!

Email me at Hanna(at)RingmasterConsulting.com.