Stop Arguing with Me — You ARE a Badass
I recently started coaching a small business owner for whom I am also a client. She is an absolute rock star in her profession, but her business is still very new and as we got to know each other I realized that she was exactly the kind of client I love to work with — brilliant at what she does but struggling to figure out how to grow her business in a way that supports her life.
I told her that she was my favorite kind of client–a smart, cool woman leader — and she responded with her trademark sense of humor:
I get similar responses from a lot of women I coach, and I have a message for all of them and all of you: Stop arguing with me. You *are* a badass!
I mean… I get it. Our culture conditions us from an early age to keep our egos in check, to deflect compliments, to overestimate our flaws and underestimate our power at every turn. Even with the wildly non-traditional upbringing I had in the circus, these traits were instilled in me, and it’s been no small task to overcome them.
Here’s how I did it:
Boundaries: While I agree with Eleanor Roosevelt that “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent,” I also think that allowing people to criticize you without consequence is a form of consent. Decide you’re worth more, and if people can’t get with the program, then they don’t get the privilege of your presence in their life. No exceptions.
Strengths: I don’t mean moral fortitude — I mean the StrengthsFinder Assessment, which tells you where your greatest talent lies. For me the results were life-altering. I felt like someone finally handed me permission to be my full self. It was so impactful that I got certified as a coach in the assessment and found my calling — helping leaders and teams step confidently into their spotlight.
Allies: Find people who think you are amazing and spend more time with them. You won’t always have your superstar mojo (trust me — I have low moments like everyone else), and when you’re feeling worn-down, uninspired, or burnt out, it helps to have folks you can turn to who hold up the magic mirror that shows you the badass inside. My band of allies includes my husband, my coach, my best friend Mickie, and honestly even my clients! When I am feeling depleted, getting to hold the magic mirror up for someone else always energizes me.
I want to leave you with a challenge: stand in front of the mirror today and say, out loud: “I am a badass!” Mean it.
And if you can’t say that and believe it, give me a call and I’ll tell you why you’re wrong.